Crying babies
What do you say to a crying child?
Three-year-old Tommy’s eyes are puffy and red. His mouth trembles. Tears stream like little rivers down his chubby cheeks after his dad drops him off.
If you were Tommy’s teacher, what would you say?
Most well-meaning teachers would say, “It’s okay. It’s okay.” It’s a comforting phrase that’s been passed along for generations, even among intelligent, compassionate teachers.
But it doesn’t acknowledge how Tommy is feeling. In fact, it does the opposite. He isn’t “okay.”
Instead, what if we said, “I see that you’re crying. It looks like something is bothering you. It looks like you’re sad.” After labeling the emotion, empathize. “You’re sad because you miss your daddy. I miss my daddy sometimes too.” Then help Tommy regulate the emotion. “When I miss my dad, I like to read my favorite book called Daddy and Me. May I read it to you?”
Acknowledging, labeling, and regulating emotions works.
It works for adults as well. In tough times, like we’re having now, how might we support people facing uncertainty and fear?
Soft Power Leaders label, empathize, and explore emotions.
- Anwell Tsai
What do you say to a crying child?
Three-year-old Tommy’s eyes are puffy and red. His mouth trembles. Tears stream like little rivers down his chubby cheeks after his dad drops him off.
If you were Tommy’s teacher, what would you say?
Most well-meaning teachers would say, “It’s okay. It’s okay.” It’s a comforting phrase that’s been passed along for generations, even among intelligent, compassionate teachers.
But it doesn’t acknowledge how Tommy is feeling. In fact, it does the opposite. He isn’t “okay.”
Instead, what if we said, “I see that you’re crying. It looks like something is bothering you. It looks like you’re sad.” After labeling the emotion, empathize. “You’re sad because you miss your daddy. I miss my daddy sometimes too.” Then help Tommy regulate the emotion. “When I miss my dad, I like to read my favorite book called Daddy and Me. May I read it to you?”
Acknowledging, labeling, and regulating emotions works.
It works for adults as well. In tough times, like we’re having now, how might we support people facing uncertainty and fear?
Soft Power Leaders label, empathize, and explore emotions.
- Anwell Tsai
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